Week 10, Day 1

On Day 1, I started with the outer circle. If you guys haven't read it already, you should read the comment that Dave posted on the Week 10: Identity Week post. He explains the circle in more detail. On the surface of the circle, I wrote ways that I express myself and things that I like-surface level things. As I was writing these down, I felt my myself getting excited about these things that mean a lot to me. Here are some of them:

• I express myself very well verbally and through body language. I have been told many times that I "wear my emotions on my sleeve," and I know that this is true. I don't know if it's a bad or good thing, but that's how I am. It's very hard for me to "fake" feeling ok if I'm not. I tend to get really quiet if I'm mad or upset or feeling self conscious, and I don't like being around people when I get like this.
• Writing and singing are two ways that I use to express myself. I love doing both.
• I really like music, and during my music week a couple weeks ago, my music world was greatly expanded. Right now I am in love with Mumford & Sons. I also like Imogen Heap, Rosie Thomas, Brooke Fraser, Jon McLaughlin, and anything having to do with musicals. Yes, I am a geek.
• I love anything peppermint. Seriously, anything. I currently have peppermint shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. I will only use peppermint toothpaste, and I will only chew peppermint gum. I have Burt's Bees peppermint chap stick, I love peppermint hot chocolate....the list continues on.
• I LOVE the changing of the seasons. My favorite is when the summer changes to fall. The fall is hands down, my favorite season. I love to sit outside on a crisp fall day and watch a football game or go on a hayride. I love the apple orchard and the pumpkin patch which are both associated with the fall. Fall has the ability to change my mood into a good one.
• Dancing. This is a new found love of mine, which is awesome. And it means something deeper because if I were to rewind to about a year ago, I would hesitate big time when being dragged dancing because I was self conscious. Now, I love it, and I believe this is a small testimony of how God is slowly revealing my true identity.
• The Drive-In. If you know me at all, you know that I love the Drive-In. I'm not even sure why exactly. I think it's a number of things: I love movies, being with friends, the out doors, being under the night sky, the memories associated with the drive-in from my past...
• Candles. There's just something about candles that makes me happy. If I had a rough day, you will know it (my roommates can attest to this) because I will be cleaning the house and lighting candles. True story. In my opinion, candles are beautiful things that light up a room and create a warm, inviting atmosphere.
• Going out. I am a very social person- I love to be with people. I am happy going just about anywhere: the zoo, museum, a concert, a bookstore, a coffee shop, a bar, a park...I will go just about anywhere if it's with people that I love.

Now, my list was a lot longer than this, but for the sake of boring you, I will stop. As I was writing these out, I found myself wondering why the heck I don't do some of these things more often. Why don't I go outside and enjoy the beautiful fall days more often? I find God in these things, yet my busyness gets in the way. Many times, my excuse is that I don't have any one to go with which is true but I think I can go and do some of these things by myself. I need to do things more by myself sometimes because I can become to dependent on people.

Well, that's quite a bit of insight into my life. I hope that you guys are doing this with me. I had a conversation with one of my best friends last night about joining in with me for the week, and I told him that he could make up his own "Identity Week." You don't have to follow the circle thing, and you really don't have to do anything that I do this week. Make it your own. Do what works for you. All of our journeys will look different. Maybe for you, taking a ride on your bike for an hour and thinking about what makes you "you" is helpful. Maybe sitting down and playing a game of solitaire, while thinking back over your life and how you've gotten to this point is helpful. I don't know. I don't even fully know what this week will look like for me, but I'm expecting God to speak me and to show me what he wants me to hear and see.