Week 49: A Week to Wait for My Husband

As I decided what I was going to do this week, I almost didn't do this one because I thought that some of you may think that I was crazy. Then I stopped and realized that you may already think that I'm crazy, but crazy in a good way (I hope). So I'm doing this. Warning: it's an honest and open post about something Christians like to tip toe around. You've been warned!

I will start by telling you how life changing last week was. I wish that I could tell you everything single thing that happened, what led up to it, and so on but I won't. I will say though, that I had fasted a little over two weeks ago in prayer for a friend, and I have never seen God move so quickly. This fast led to change in a big way for me. Funny how God works, right? I fast and pray for a friend and end up being insanely challenged and blessed myself. Last week, I needed a break from the chaos- a week of quiet, waiting, listening, and stillness. God showed up in a big way, speaking to me, bringing peace, trust, and hope.

I think the most awesome thing that happened last week is that I made new friends. As you know, I'm co-running kettles this year. We have been working with a labor force agency, and this past Thursday or Friday (can't remember exactly) a young woman came to work for us. Immediately upon meeting her, I knew she must be a Christian-such love and joy exuding from her- not to mention a wonderful southern accent. I brought her to work and at the end of the day, I picked her up. We were in the van talking, and I asked where she was from and what led her here. Turns out her and her husband owned a business, lost it, and they've been living in their car, traveling the U.S. to find work. They have a little car with the two of them and a big dog. I wouldn't exactly be thrilled with that situation, but this woman's positive attitude and outlook was amazing. I invited her and her husband to church and told them that they were welcome to use my apartment to take showers. It was seriously the least that I could do.

Then the Lord tells me that I need to do something. I wanted to let them stay in my apartment. If I had lived in Blue Island with Rebecca and Amber, we would have let them stay in a second, after praying about it of course. The problem is that my apartment is in The Salvation Army and with that comes a bunch of man made rules and regulations which hinder being able to help people in a way like this. It's sad that man made rules tend to trump God so often. I won't get into this much more because I'm still a little upset by it, but needless to say, I wasn't allowed to let them stay in my apartment. The weekend end went on, they were able to hang out at my place for a while, take showers, rest. I was glad for that. She came to church Sunday and was blessed by it. They both hung around the rest of the day, helping make Christmas cookies and cupcakes with some church kids. Then a friend of mine here was gracious enough to allow them to stay at her place until this Friday. God worked it out. He was able to bless them and continues to bless them. This couple is not much older than me, and what a change in perspective this type of occurrence calls for. God showed up this last week, blessed everyone involved, challenged me in pursuing what the Lord tells me to do despite obstacles, and made me every more grateful for what I have, all of which I really don't deserve. What awesome people they are and what a blessing it has been to get to know them.

So that was last week. Today, I am writing this blog on my first day off in a while. This morning I woke up, did some packing for home, listened to a sermon podcast from the Evanston Vineyard on Christian sexuality, did some journaling, listened to some worship music, and I'm now writing this. What an awesome day off! This morning as I was listening to the podcast, I couldn't help but to think of my future husband, the man that I will be with for the rest of my life. Now, I'm sure I'm not alone in this. As a single woman who is 25 years old, there aren't many days that pass where I don't think about this. "Lord, do you really have someone for me? Did you forget about me up there? Ok, God. This is my 205th friend who just got engaged and 125th friend who had a baby....this isn't funny anymore! Will it ever be my turn, Lord?" Some of you may have or had at one point similar things running through your head, so I'm sure I'm not alone. I choose to think that God has a husband for me. I have such a deep desire to be married and to have a family. I have hope that one day, this will happen.

Now, this podcast was really good. It was a sermon that you don't usually hear in churches today. It was bold and honest. If you are interested in listening to it, click here. Man, we've messed up so much when it comes to relationships. We've taken sex and intimacy and perverted it. In a sex-driven world, you don't find a lot of people waiting for their future spouse, remaining abstinent, refraining from pornography and "solitary sex" as the pastor calls it from that podcast. We want instant gratification, a way to run from our problems, a way to find satisfaction yet not get hurt from a real relationship (pornography). It's messed up. This sermon podcast was really good, and I was shocked to see it on I-Tunes because I've never heard a sermon preached on this topic before and definitely not this openly. It was refreshing. Please listen to it.

Any way, all of this led me to thinking about this future marriage that I am trusting will happen. I started a new journal a month or so back, with the intention of giving it to the man that will be my husband. It contains some written out prayers, notes on a few sermons that I wanted him to read, and today I actually wrote a letter to him, whoever he is. I have seen marriages end horribly. I have seen unhealthy relationships turn into marriage and then end 6 months later. I've actually seen a lot more marriages go badly than I have seen healthy ones.

I want to have a healthy relationship founded on God. For that to happen, God needs to be working on me and the man He has for me during this waiting time. This week I've been praying for and will continue to pray for my husband- whoever he is wherever he is. I don't want either of us to get caught up in this sex-driven world, but instead, I'm praying that God will make us completely dependent on Him, that He will be our center and that He will be the one that we go to with all of our needs- that we won't go to sex, money, food, or whatever else to get temporary fixes. I believe that the only way for me to have a healthy marriage is for me and my husband to love God first with everything that we are, and then each other.

So I may be crazy, but I'm ok with that. This week I plan on praying, maybe doing some fasting if I feel led, journaling and just pressing into God. Then there will be the day when I meet this guy, and boy it will be worth all the waiting....